Tax Reform 999 or 666: Herman Cain's Weird Tax Plan

By Victor Krumm




Republicans have long complained about Keynesian economics and now, finally , seemingly have their own version: Cainsian economics.

Upon enactment, the world's biggest economy would be paid for by the kind of America tax that is music to the ears of many Republicans and Tea Partiers based on simplicity itself.

If Herman Cain becomes President, here's how he'd want the tax code changed:

9% corporate taxes

9% federal income taxes

9% nationwide sales tax

Of course, weight in as the self-styled Sage of Tax Law, Representative Michelle Bachmann, adroitly pointed out: "...the Devil's in the details" and turned upside down, 999 becomes 666.

The Mark of the Beast.

The Anti-Christ.

I must admit that my head is spinning and I've broken a cold sweat.

Everybody who hasn't just come out of a coma or out from under a rock knows that Mrs. Bachmann is standing for President because, as she has proudly proclaimed, she prayed for His guidance and He gave her "the sense" it was her purpose in life.

Are we to presume from that divinely inspired calling that maybe God himself once more spake, something like "Beware the Sign of the Beast" and she got "the sense" He wanted her to turn 999 upside down so we, who are seldom blessed with messages from God's lips to our ears could identify the Animal?

Heavens to Murgatroyd!

Citizen Cain appears to be such a likable fellow so maybe, of course, it was not the Lord Representative Bachmann heard, just more voices inside her head.

I grew up where there were places for people who heard voices.

Today, that seems to be Washington.

But, back to Mr. Cain who looks to be taking the Republican Party by storm.

Great smile, happy warrior of the party Lincoln built.

Better, a bold visionary with a plan to make America great again.

999

Yea for Herman and the birth of Cainsian Economics!

Now, this is tax reform everybody can believe strongly in because the Man with the Great Big Smile promises us it is "revenue neutral."

That's comforting.

Still, something is gnawing at me.

I can't exactly put my finger on it.

Maybe it has something to do with a reality check.

You see, for 80% of US citizens, their federal taxes will rocket like fireworks on the 4th of July.

Of course, since it is revenue neutral, there has to be an offset to achieve that campaign promise, so his Yin and Yang of neutrality is made up by teeny, weeny tax savings for neediest of Americans: the top 20% of Americans. You know, those poor misunderstood Pharisees, I mean great Americans, under siege by class warfare.

They're going to receive tax savings equivalent to the tax increases for the 80% of Americans who don't work as hard as they do, are not as smart as them, and who whine way too much.

Hmmm.

Maybe Bachmann's onto something.

666.




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